Parenting
as a
Friend

Society's Influence

I was watching TV when they announced the death of the leader of the one of the biggest workers unions, so the network decided to re air his last interview. It was the usual rags to riches story taking place in the union's world, that is as close to a mafia as can be.

One line in the interview caught my attention: "My success is due to the fact that my father once told me: You will only have 2 friends in your life; me, your father, and a dollar in your pocket". At the time I thought that it was an odd comment coming from someone who had to deal -and see through- people for a living, but later I realized the importance of that statement and why it related to his success.

As Parents we understand the critical importance of the social skills of our kids not only for their well being but also for their future success in their career, but in most cases we fail to see that to develop their socials skill and most important to contribute to their well being first we as parents have to be connected to them before we let them loose into the peer pressure scenario, in other words it is our first and main job as parents to become their best friends and keep that spot at least until reach adult age. To explain Why and How are the main objectives of this small book you are reading.

The way society was organized on the old days helped parents to bond with their kids, there were less distractions and the distances and other factors resulted in families with a strong bonds between parents and their daughters and sons.

But things are very different now, and it shows: you see grown up people behaving like kids, cold blooded violence in schools, and the dangerous peer pressure in which most kids get caught up.

There is not a problem in kids having friends at all. The problem is when those friends became the main source of love and approval surpassing us as parents as the main mirror from which they get an idea of who they are. We push our kids in to the social world with our best intentions and in many cases we later discover that strategy backfires when we as parents are push aside by our kids, who go out to get the leftovers of approval from their peers. But not only are we push aside, when kids fall in to their friends environment as the main source of identity a whole set of problems arise as our kids believe that who they are is whatever their peers think of them, and on the other side our ideas and feelings as parents are neglected. You could pretty much compare it to a marriage where one person starts an affair, it does not become a divided love, it rather becomes a situation where the total affection and interest goes to the new lover and none to the spouse.

In this small book we will show tips to communicate as well as some tips to help you build a relationship with your kids. And that will be about it, because once you and your kids are best friends, parenting will be as natural as breathing.

Next Chapter: Building a Relationship